Friday, April 26, 2013

HFS!

Every single post I have ever sat and talked about how much self doubt I have and how scared I am of everything ever.

Every single time that all of you have lifted me up and made me realize that my own stupid fucking insecurity is holding me back.

Every time I have read your comments and cried because it was exactly what I needed to hear. 

THIS is what this all lead up to. I can't say this to the everyday people who need me to be strong and powerful and have my shit together. You all are the people that get to hear the thoughts I can't have in order to be good at what I do.

I am going to be the named, publicized executive chef of the new restaurant. I am 100% in control of the food. Up until now, my general manager wanted to kind of share the role with me and it was all very sketchy. It all came to a head today and I now have my own restaurant. 

You guys, I am doing this. I am living my dream. I will have a restaurant with MY food. MY vision. It will be mine. 

My instinct is to go to terrified and curl up in a ball and cry. 

I am elated. I am over the top happy. I am a little scared, but on a scale of 1 to spider, I am like a 3. 

Opening week? I will probably just post pictures of me rocking back and forth in various corners crying. 

But, right now, this feels right. This feels good. I CAN FUCKING DO THIS. I WILL FUCKING DO THIS. 

You guys...I am about to have my own restaurant. I am 31 years old and I am about to run my own kitchen. I know some people do this at 24, but they are not the norm. 

This is everything. Just. Everything. 

I have a catering business. I am opening a restaurant. I am pretty sure this is what it feels like to make it. This is what it feels like to have finally found your calling and not only loving what you do, but being good at it.

Maybe more like a 5...

5 comments:

Andrea Rogowski said...

After this comment, "You guys, I am doing this. I am living my dream. I will have a restaurant with MY food. MY vision. It will be mine.", I really wanted you to type "Muah ha ha!!!"

You are going to rock it! <3
Nye

Ann said...

YAY!!! Oh honey, I'm so proud of you!!!!!

monique said...

Wow!
This is too exciting for words.
I wish you all the best and I know you can do it. Wow!
xox
M~

J o s e y said...

Ahhhhhhh!!!! HFS indeed! That acronym was made for an announcement like this. :) CONGRATS!!!

Juls said...

I look forward to hearing the saga continue. You have such heart for what you do, it's bound to be wonderful. What a delight to read "living my dream". It is as it should be.
xxjv