Sunday, April 26, 2015

Just hit the inhaler again. I might die. On a side note, 10 random things

  1. I miss the late night noises. I don't necessarily miss working nights, but I also don't mind it. My destiny is never to be a Monday through Friday 9am - 5pm girl. I just hate how much turmoil it causes with family and friends. And not seeing man-pants for days on ends. I won't see him again until he gets off work Monday. 
  2. I have been having almost asthma attacks for the past three nights. I contributed it to the insane amount of olives at my new job (it has happened every shift I have worked there and also eaten food.) But today I was careful. And it was the worst one yet. Man-pants meticulously cleaned the house, thinking it was just that we hadn't been super clean lately and I am allergic to both our pets. I hit a 10 year old inhaler about 10 times and I could finally breathe. Yes, yes, I know. That is so dangerous. I also took about 5 times the recommended dose of antihistamines. I'm not good at following rules.
  3. I really bonded with the AGM at the new job today. We have spent 43 hours in 4 days chained to each other and it turns out...he is that guy who tries to show off the things about himself he thinks are cool. Like, he never talks about his kid or his wife, but I have heard 7 MILLION things about his taste in crappy emo-rock music. He calls it metal. Psht. 
  4. I witnessed a man dragging a dummy dressed in a wedding dress down one of the busiest streets downtown. I thought it was a human and screamed. He was dragging her by her hair. It was the weirdest thing I have seen this week. Give it time....downtown is always entertaining.
  5. I destroyed my hair dying it back to normal people hair colors. And today it looked like there was a tidal wave on top of my head. I straighten it (it isn't curly naturally since the treatment) and it stays straight for like 15 minutes and then it just sort of does whatever the fuck it wants. At least all of the little 21 year old hostesses got a huge kick out of my crazy ass hair. They are adorable. Like, shoot me in the face adorable. 
  6. DID YOU KNOW OTTERS RAPE BABY SEALS UNTIL THEY ARE DEAD AND TOO DECOMPOSED TO RAPE? I am sorry if I just ruined your day. But my dreams of a pet otter are over and I needed to share my pain. Also, dolphins gang rape. Yes, I read some article on the sexual habits of sea-life. It is the biggest mistake I have made to date.
  7. There is a woman at new job who is actually trying to play the "out bitch the new bitch" card. This may just be a women who work in restaurants thing. I don't know. I personally find this whole charade tiresome. I am just myself and generally earn respect. Sometimes I have to pull people aside and give the whole "just because I am not screaming at you does not mean I am a pushover" speech. I have witnessed (what I have now dubbed) the "I'm not your bitch, bitch" stand off between two women before. And it is HILARIOUS. And sad. Mostly because as a minority in the industry, we should support each other. But, whatever. I will just watch as everyone sees her game and sees me not playing it. Even if I lose respect for not playing. Don't care. Don't see strong women as a threat. 
  8. I really want to be tired enough to go to bed. I am destined to be up until 3am. Which is ok because I close tomorrow and won't even get off work until 1am. 
  9. My old apartment complex has sort of spiraled out of control. After I moved out, so did every tenant except one. This included the acting apartment manager. So, when the owner (we will call her the slumlord bitch who never returned my security deposit DESPITE me finding the next tenant and her renting it to him without ever entering the property) posted a for rent and I hid it several times a day. I will give slumlord bitch this...she should play hide and seek professionally because she always found it within a few hours and put it back out.  And, yes, yes I know. Take her to small claims court.
  10. The cat is trying to lay on the laptop. This is the first cat-like thing he has ever done. Well, he kneads things. And meows. And is scared of laser pointers. Hates toys. Loves having his belly rubbed. And has penis shaped markings on his forehead. So, you know, sounds about like my cat.

1 comment:

monique said...

So glad you are back. Love your humorous side.
xoxo ~ m