Catching Up

Where to start? An explanation perhaps? A brief one.

I didn't feel comfortable writing here. I am still not 100% sure that I do. I lost a lot of friends when my relationship with the boy ended, people I did not anticipate losing. People that read this blog. And while I would love to say, fuck them, I don't care what people think...that's not true. And I didn't want my stories, my life just put out there for everyone to read and then gossip about behind my back. But, I guess, in the end, what difference does it make?

I considered starting a new blog, but I didn't really want to do that either. I want to change the face, the feel of this blog for sure. Because I am no longer the person who started this. But a new blog? That feels wrong to me.

I considered just not writing at all anymore. But I miss it. A lot. I miss the connections I have made here. And maybe most of them are gone, which I would totally understand. Hopefully they come back. And maybe, just maybe, I will make some new connections.

If you only know me from the blogging world, I am still out there reading. I still think about all of you and love you all dearly. I have literally just had a phone at my disposal for almost a year.

And it's funny, my neighbor offered to take a look at my laptop and fixed it in 10 minutes. No clue what she did, but I am ever so grateful.

So, let me summarize the past year of my life.

I changed everything. And I mean, everything. All changes that I have felt inside of me for a long time. I am not going to dwell on the past and lament about the series of mistakes that ended with me in a life I never wanted. A life I tried to make the best of and couldn't. All that matters is now. No matter how crazy everyone thinks I went, which I know they do. Those that have spoken to me since this all happened know that I am the happiest I have ever been. And THAT is what matters.

That wasn't all that brief. We all know how long winded I can be.

I just got back from a week in St. Louis that I needed SO BADLY. It has been over three years since I had more than 2 consecutive days off in a row. I can't remember, since starting this job, a week that I haven't worked on my day off. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my job. Do not get me wrong, everyone there yells at me to go home. But I needed this week. 

It started off as a tour of the midwest, hitting up Chicago, Indianapolis and St. Louis to see family and friends. Then man-pants couldn't get any time off. Then right as we were getting ready to leave to come home, he got the time off very unexpectedly. So we missed seeing a lot of people we wanted to see because of how unorganized the plans were. We had a great time, it just wasn't what either of us expected it to be.

We are staying in my shitty apartment until Spring to bank money because we are going to Aruba in March!! So, 450 square feet with two people, a dog and a cat. 

Oh yeah, we got a cat. My friend is moving to LA and couldn't take him. He is HANDS DOWN the sweetest cat I have ever met. But, fucking shit, he never shuts up. Like ever. Meow, meow, meow, I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU. That is 3 am every single day here. I love him very much and would never actually murder him. But have about exhausted "SHUT THE FUCK UP CAT" solutions. Any suggestions?

So, that is about it for me. Gratuitous cuteness below.