Merry Christmas

The person making my drinks tonight (me) needs to calm the fuck down and not make them so strong. Just because it is the end of the bottle does NOT mean you have to just finish it off. That is the opposite of what that means. It means make two weak drinks, not one really, really strong one. That was sort of just a letter to self. Possibly a warning to all of you.

So...the holidays. The holidays are always weird for me. I don't like them. I love Thanksgiving because my dad's whole side of the family comes in town and it is just this great weekend of catching up. Not so much this year. Which I understand. I so understand. There are babies and new wives and new families and I get it. But I was still sad. I missed that family time. 

Christmas is always about me going to St Louis before and hanging out with the family. All of my aunts come into town and we spend the weekend fighting and talking over each other and just generally being a room full of strong women who can't figure out whose turn it is to talk. Not this year. Which I don't understand as much...but still get. It's hard to travel from Texas to Missouri. It's a long trip. 

I am trying very hard to be forgiving of the total absence of family this year. Because, honestly, I am not mad at them. Not even a little. I am just sad that I don't get to see all of them. I am sad that the one time of the year that is supposed to be all about family isn't this year. I am still going home to St Louis and I will still get to see my sister and grandmother and mother and stepfather (and Bradshaw and her new boy!) 

I have to close the restaurant on Christmas Eve. Christmas morning I am making breakfast casseroles for a homeless shelter and going there to serve them Christmas brunch. Christmas night we are doing a traditional dinner at my dad and stepmom's house. Our tradition for years has been going out to dinner Christmas Eve, doing Christmas day at my house and then going to our favorite bar for bingo and friends. 

Everyone should spend Christmas Day at a bar. Playing bingo. It sounds kind of sad, but it is awesome.

It's not that I don't like change. I actually really like change. I like to mix it up a little. I just miss the family this year. I miss seeing the twins and my cousins and my aunts and my uncles and everyone. 

But! BUT! I get to go to St Louis and take FIVE WHOLE DAYS OFF OF WORK. And I get to relax and spend some time with the family that is there. And I get to spend Christmas Day doing something fulfilling and then having a lovely evening with my dad and stepmom. 

I need to un-bah humbug myself and just get the fuck over it. I know. But, I am pouty and stompy about the whole thing. I will get over it. 

I hope all of you have a great holiday, whatever it is you are celebrating. I may be MIA until after Christmas unless I randomly cell phone post from home. Be safe. I love you all.