I did not go back and read this. I apologize in advance.

Krav Maga again today. I have spent the last hour playing a fun game I like to call "will that sore spot become a bruise." I feel like the answer is almost always yes. 

I love the Krav Maga shit. I really do. But, I am not very good at it. And I feel like the 10 sessions I purchased with my groupon are going to be only enough to make me dangerous. To myself. Not others. For example, when attacking my partner, Nyeski, I repeatedly almost fell over. I mean. I can't even strangle someone from behind well, how am I going to prevent this from happening to me. They have the EASY job, the attackers. It is much harder to fend them off than it is to attack. Unless of course you are anyone else in the class, then fuck that, I would never attack you. Because I would hurt myself trying to get a grip on your neck.

Maybe I should have started with not falling over 101. Or, more importantly, how not to be a sweaty gross mess 101. Because, you guys, I am a sweater. Like, there was sweat in my eye and the instructor said "already?" then made some joke about me sweating vinegar. SHUT IT. I AM SWEATY. This is why kitchens are perfect, it is normal to be sweaty. 

In my head, I am this gross fat sweaty person and I KNOW THAT IS NOT TRUE. Nobody yell at me. My head is not very nice. But, I hate the sweat. My mother never sweats. Why did I have to inherit my dad's sweat like a mother fucker gene.

I just got totally derailed by sweat. And whiskey. What? Has any blog post ever said sweat this many times?

The moral of the story is...I love this shit. And a part of me really wants to continue it past the 10 day groupon thing, but alas, I can't afford to join the gym. And I just googled to see if there were anymore, and there really aren't. 

So, my plan is to have the boy randomly attack me and then beat the crap out of him. Wait. That is a terrible plan.

Do any of you remember the episode of Friends where Ross tries to teach Rachel and Phoebe Unagi? That is what I just pictured. Also I watch too much Friends.

I want a way to do this in my free time and there just isn't. And that sucks. I want a way to not have to go to a gym for the tune of SO MUCH MONEY and continue this training, because I would. And that doesn't exist.

And this post was all over the place, but I took two phone calls, several text messages that involved brain power, and am watching TV all while posting this. I really want Nick and Jess to get together. I can't NOT watch.

My name is Erratic and I am ADD.