#10 may be a whole blog post

1. I started on salary this week. Guess how many hours I have worked so far...just guess. Oh, 35 you think? Then you would be right. I have a 12 hour shift tomorrow and then another 9 hour shift on Saturday. Whoopie! Salary is fun. Can I go back to hourly please? Thanks.
2. Can you pull a muscle in your foot? Because I think I did. Walking up the stairs? Well, sort of bounding up the stairs. And now my foot hurts (I typed hurt foots) and boo. I kind of want to just whine about it. Because I am tired. And whiny.
3. So. About this CRAZE that is the Fifty Shades series...I was skeptical. And I was wrong. It will not win any literary awards, but the books are fun. And I couldn't put them down. And when I was done, I missed the characters. This doesn't happen to me very often (most notably with Harry Potter) so that is kind of a good endorsement. Plus, you know, the sex and stuff. I recommend them. Take that or leave that.
4. I HATE PRETENTIOUS DOUCHE BAGS. If you say to me, during the first conversation that we ever have, "Oh, honey, it's not my first rodeo," and you are wearing a three-piece suit to a catering event, you are a pretentious douche bag. Please, I repeat, please go away. Our restaurant may be fine dining, but we aren't that kind of fine dining. We are stunt cooking, pulling shit out of our ass kind of fine dining. There may be elegance to the food when it reaches the table, but there sure as fuck isn't in the kitchen. So, go work at some corporate bullshit job with your peers and leave us alone. I feel better.
5. Moski started at my work today! It's going to be weird being her supervisor, except probably not because she's not really someone who needs supervising. I am excited for another girl on my side too. Holy shit, I am so sick of the boys and their bullshit. And their abuse. There was a spoon fight not that long ago that left lasting marks on my arm. The whole "you can't hit me, I am a girl" thing has finally worn off. Shit.
6. So. Had a family weekend. Wherein my aunt genuinely thought that Obama was a Muslim. Look. I don't  need you to agree with my politics. I don't need you to agree with anything I say or do. Because that is the point of this entire country, this entire system. BUT I need you to be intelligent enough to see through bullshit being spewed by radicals to slander someone's reputation. Whether that be bullshit for or against your opinion. Be intelligent, read, and for the LOVE OF GOD DO NOT BASE ALL OF YOUR OPINIONS ON FOX NEWS. Or any other biased news source for that matter. Ugh. Muslim? Really? How am I related to these people?
7. They also think that 1984 is coming true. Just. What?
8. I am currently on the phone with my grandmother who is telling me everything that is on TV tonight and what she watches and what she doesn't watch and what I should watch (American Idol, Person of Interest) and what I shouldn't watch (those sluts on Grey's Anatomy.) Then she got off the phone with me so I could go to bed. It is 7:30.
9. It has become so normal to me to smell like onions that I don't even notice it, until I take down my hair. And you know how onion kind of smells like bad body odor? Yeah. Days where I choose not to shower after work (sometimes I just can't bring myself to take two showers in one day) I would recommend following me around with FeBreeze. And maybe that spray on bath stuff for dogs. 
10. Goodwill loves us. I can't even tell you how much shit we have brought them. And the woman, when we appear, jumps out of her chair and has a stupid grin on her face because most of the stuff we have brought is virtually unused. Let this be a lesson to all...if your family is a bunch of hoarders, and you are not, they try to make you one. And you shove shit in a closet every holiday and birthday and try to pretend like you will one day use it. YOU WON'T. YOU WILL MOVE AND TAKE IT ALL TO GOOD WILL AND IT WILL BE EXHAUSTING. Is it rude to refuse gifts? Because you know what is an awesome gift to me? An amazing dinner out. An event. Time with the people I love. A gift certificate to someplace I enjoy shopping. For things I need. Please, for the love of God, no more relaxing water fountains or candles or pedicure spas. I hate to sound ungrateful, but I like simple, clean, uncluttered. And I can't have manicured nails because nail polish is toxic. And pedicures last like two seconds. And scented anything alters the palate. So, I apologize for the rant, but if you ever bring me a gift, bring a bottle of wine. Or some really cool artisanal cheese. Or just show up because, really, I would rather spend time with you than get a candle.