The Post I Thought I Would Never Write

The boy and I broke up. It is part of why I have been absent. I give up on excuses of why I am absent. I'm not sleeping or eating or doing things normal people do. I don't know how he is because he is staying elsewhere...I don't know where that is. 

I am not going to taint what we had by blogging about why it ended. It just did. I just hung up the phone with my future landlord and I am moving into an apartment that consists of a tiny kitchen, a living room, a bathroom and a bedroom. A nice apartment that I love. I have to have my father cosign because of the foreclosure. I feel like a 19 year old.

I have no room for anything I own. I look at the few boxes the boy has already piled up for me and I think, there is no place for any of this in my life. My kitchen equipment, my dishes, my spices. None of it. 

I'm not sure when I am going to blog again. Right now, it's just not my priority. I love all of you, but I have to figure out me for a little while. I have to move and sell most of my belongings and reconcile what is happening. I have to figure out how to be alone again. 

The moral of the story: just don't ever take me seriously. ever. well, maybe sometimes. this post is a mess.

Clarification: I secretly love that Robin Thicke song. I am not saying that people shouldn't listen to the song. I am just saying it is part of a very prevalent rape culture in this country and to suggest that it should be some sort of feminist anthem is what I have issue with. Do I like that songs like this are part of the mainstream media? Not really. But the song is catchy and I find myself bopping along to it in the car. 

Also that song is taking over my life. 

And I love Jimmy Fallon. And this was awesome. And he is hot. But also kind of douchey, right? Like, when I look at him I immediately know I wouldn't like him. 

Anywho...Here is my thing with rape culture. I am not worried about my peers all of a sudden thinking, well, I never thought it was cool to assume a girl wanted it when she didn't before, but now that Robin Thicke says it's ok, well, shit. Let's do it.

I am worried about our generation's sons and daughters. I am worried about the lessons we are teaching them about what the word no means. And how to treat women. I'm just scared we are trivializing women's rights to their own sexuality. 

Maybe that is a tad hypocritical? I don't mind the songs being out there as long as we don't listen to the lyrics? I don't know. I just know several people contacted me IRL life like "OMG HOW DO YOU NOT LIKE THAT SONG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU LIGHTEN UP." And I am all, chill. 

Robin Thicke is kind of a douche who thinks he's some kind of feminist. I simply want to point that fact out. 

And then listen to that stupid mother fucking song and laugh every time he says "what rhymes with hug me?" Because: nothing.

So, teach your sons to respect women and THEN let them listen to Robin Thicke. Can we all agree on that?

Also I dropped a 2 X 4 on my foot and it hurts to put weight on it, which makes my dad think it is broken. I have never broken a bone, but I am walking on it, so I assume it is not broken? Well, I have broken toes. And those don't hurt that bad. So...I don't know. Maybe I broke my foot. Maybe I will wake up tomorrow and it will all be fine. Except it is swollen and black and blue. So, maybe not fine? 

I need to make friends with a doctor. Any doctors out there? I need you on retainer. And by retainer I mean you can have some beers when you come over to diagnose whatever I have done to harm myself today. You're going to need to bring a tetanus shot, an x-ray machine and lots and lots of stitches.

Baby otters, feminism, and all of you filing a restraining order.

1. I am addicted to Whisper. If you don't know what it is, it is a lot like the PostSecret iPhone app. If you don't know what PostSecret is, why are we friends? Just kidding. Sort of. I don't really post anything on it and get super annoyed at the 17 year old emo shit, but the voyeuristic quality of just reading people's deepest darkest secrets is something I can't resist. I have always said that if I had any superpower, it would be invisibility. I don't want to watch people have sex or anything. I am just kind of fascinated by the idea of watching people when they don't think anyone is watching. 
2. That last bullet point was super creepy. Let's not all get restraining orders at once. I promise to leave your bushes now....
3. The weather here has been so nice that we have had our windows open for about a week. No, I am not blogging about weather. But, when there is a light breeze and it is slightly cool and all the neighborhood noises float in the room, I am so at peace I can't even explain it. It is my favorite thing in the world to wake up this way. Maybe I would like camping...
4. I have had this song in my head all day. Every time someone said hey, I immediately responded "hey hey hey." The reason is that on the way to work, the radio station said that in response to the controversy over his music video and lyrics, Robin Thicke responded that his song should be the new feminist anthem. Or something. I am not fact checking that quote. So I played the song on my phone before going into work and WHAT. Objectify women. Absolutely. Don't care. Women are hot. If a woman wants to strut around on stage naked, that is her choice. That is feminism. Women choosing. HOWEVER. You are calling the song "blurred lines" and saying "I know you want it" over and over while inferring that she does not, in fact, want it because she is a good girl. Ugh. Rape culture. Just stop. IF A WOMAN WANTS IT, SHE WILL ASK FOR IT. IF SHE DOESN'T, IT IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO DETERMINE THAT SHE DOES IN FACT WANT IT AND GIVE IT TO HER. Feminism my fucking ass.
5. I am the only person at work that knows my coworkers girlfriend is pregnant and it is KILLING ME. I want to tell everyone. He is so adorable about it. A family came in the other day with a baby and next thing I know he is at the table (he is a server) holding the baby with this stupid grin on his face. There is NOTHING cuter than a man with a baby. Not even otters. Maybe otters. A MAN HOLDING A BABY OTTER. My brain just exploded.
6. I just finished a 5 book series and feel lost. I know, Pocket Pen, I will start the next one you told me to STOP EVERYTHING AND READ RIGHT NOW. I really will. I just always feel like I lost a friend when I finish a series. Is that weird? Is this reason number 462 I need therapy? 
7. It's official. I am a fan girl...what I swore I would never be. I now own a MacBook Pro, an iPad and an iPhone. And I sold my Kindle. WHAT HAS THE BOY TURNED ME INTO?
8. I hate my job. I have avoided talking about it and I know I need to make a change soon. I am still not really ready to talk about it. 
9. I think I have the name picked out for the catering company. I need input, if you all don't mind. It is between "Infused: A private chef experience" and "Infused private catering." Eh? 
10. This post was super shouty. My bad.